It’s never fast enough

by 100poundsofchange

I sit here day after day getting introduced to women whom I find attractive on multiple levels, they’re smart, funny, and have ambition. The sad problem is that even though I myself believe I have a good sense of humor, and a pretty decent personality, I rarely get a second glance from them. They’re always scanning the room for someone more physically appealing.  We as a society seem to disapprove of superficiality, and yet it exists and we don’t even attempt to deny it exists. I myself don’t have a problem with limited superficiality, it’s simply one piece in a whole pie that makes up someone or something. I think we can agree that if the single most important consideration factor is appearance, that’s when most people object. There is a problem however, when dating, or attempting to date, appearance is the only thing most people tend to spend the brief few second in their head deciding if someone is worth their time. If that person approaches them and has a great personality, and a great sense of humor of course more can develop, but that’s not the majority of interactions.

My point though is a bit of a digression, because I know such an environment exists, and since I believe I have decent depth of character, a modicum of charm, a good sense of humor, and am physically tall, the biggest problem I have with my outward appearance is my weight. As I go through my personal journey to correct this “flaw” I still interact and meet new women that would easily fit into my criteria of women I would like to take out for drinks, or get to know better, but my appearance doesn’t give them reciprocal feelings yet. The torturous part is knowing that I am doing all that is possible to change my situation, and with enough willpower will eventually reach my goal, but as Tom Petty said, the waiting is the hardest part. A piece of me wishes that I could freeze time and live out the next 6 months with no interactions or changes to the outside world so that I would be in a changed position. I have no problem doing the work, as my situation is of my own doing, but seeing fruit just out of reach is heartbreaking at times. It’s a unique source of discouragement, and one that sadly breeds a bit of personal disdain in my own mind. I can easily see myself doing the exact same thing should I become one of those “desirable” people, ignoring those that themselves have not gone on such a journey, and the cycle of pain continues. I have no solution for this, and instead am merely a passenger on the boat, hoping to eventually reach the side of the lake with the greener pasture. But it remains that I will feel bad for those who were not able to cross the lake, even if I myself become a hypocrite.

Current Weight: 280 Pounds