Making a point

by 100poundsofchange

I know I’ve said this before in a previous post, however recent experiences bear repeating. Recently I have been increasing my level of confidence based on what I see in the mirror. I know that my love handles are shrinking, my gut doesn’t hang out as far, and my face is slowly deflating in the cheeks. However this all came to a shrieking halt when today I saw pictures taken of me at a wedding I attended yesterday. My face looked like it had huge jowls, while sitting down the buttons on my shirt looked like they were straining a bit, and I just didn’t look very flattering.

This all comes at a very inconvenient time for me. I have been slowly developing an attraction for a particular woman, and all of the progress I have been making on my appearance has just served to help me gain confidence in the fact that perhaps I might have a shot with this lovely lady. However no matter if the woman in question doesn’t care what I look like, or might like what’s inside, the point remains that my confidence levels in my appearance and athletic shape are just not good enough to provide a confident boyfriend, or even a confident first date.

I know that many people spout off the fact that you’ll never truly be happy with the way you look, however I personally know that this is a false statement for me. There have been plenty of times in my life where I was extremely happy with what I saw in the mirror, I was at the peak of confidence levels, I had an increasing base of friends that wanted to hang out with me, and I got constant complements from people who hadn’t seen me in a while. This is what I aspire to obtain once again. And the tragic part is that although I’m confident given enough time that I’ll accomplish this goal, the particular female I’m interested in will likely not be on the market long enough for that future version of myself to appear as a potential suitor. I tell myself that there is no one perfect woman, and this is no exception. I know that once I reach my goal there will be plenty of opportunities for me to find a woman that makes me happy, and hopefully finds that same trait in me. But this is little solace to the present version of me. But I march on, slowly, towards an optimistic future.

Current Weight: 277 Pounds