Every once in a while even in the midst of solid weight loss, I sometimes experience a day where I feel like crap. My eating habits don’t really suffer, nor does my actual workout regimen (if i can help it). Instead what happens is I have a general air of not caring. I don’t care what I get accomplished during the day, I tend to have thoughts that perhaps I’m losing all this weight for nothing, worried nothing will ultimately change. This is a bad downward spiral that is somewhat hard to stop. Today unfortunately is one of those days. Although I’m not doing it for the particular woman I mentioned in a previous post, I still get the feeling today that nothing would happen between me and her even if i got to an ideal weight and attractive level. This is why it’s a depressing day for me, but again since I’ve not been embarking on this journey for the single purpose of trying to date this woman it’s not detracting from my overall resolve to keep up with my ultimate weight loss goals.
The hardest thing I have to deal with in moods like this is what I do to distract myself. Normally work provides a decent distraction, however when work is slow (as is the case today) I end up with too much time inside my own head which is a bad thing. Once I’m off work I can attempt to drown out any bad thoughts with a trip to the gym or a session of mindless television, but this only lasts so long. It’s days like these where I ultimately go to bed early just to not have to deal with the reality of the day and hope that tomorrow brings a more hopeful outlook (which ultimately it normally does). As shallow as it may sound, the biggest tool I use to combat these slightly depressing thoughts is the idea that perhaps once I reach my goal I’ll be able to go out with considerably more women who are shallow and in it just for a night of fun. I’ve actually experienced this when I’m feeling thin in attractive and it’s certainly a nice distraction. Ultimately though when I’m close to my goal and looking good, I’m not single very long until a cute friend and I start some sort of relationship and the one night things are over with. This is a good thing of course, and as such provides a light at the end of the tunnel and a small smile on my face on days like today that make me wonder if it’s all worth it. It is. But I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, it’s only little comfort to present day me.
Current Weight: 276 Pounds